I did it my way

National Post, Sept. 1, 2001

The main witness in the case was Andre F., the businessman himself. F. testified he was abducted in March, 1999, from outside his subsidized-housing unit. The 57-year-old said he was beaten, tortured with very loud Frank Sinatra music and then let go after a week. — The Gazette, August 2001

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Andre F.: In other words, please be true.

Bailiff: So help you God?

AF: Tell me why should it be true?

Judge: Sir?

AF: I despise the same old lies … For me, it’s true.

Prosecutor: Sir?

AF: My friend, I’ll say it clear, I’ll state my case of which I’m certain.

Prosecutor: Sir, please describe the night in question.

AF: The air is rarefied … Wind came blowing in, it lingered there. Strangers in the night, exchanging glances … what were the chances? As funny as it may seem … something in my heart told me.

Prosecutor: Did you do anything or say anything?

AF: Something stupid.

Prosecutor: Like?

AF: I love you.

Prosecutor: To your wife or your lover, yes?

AF: You can’t have one without the other.

Prosecutor: And so you saw these strangers. Where were they?

AF: Waiting round the bend.

Prosecutor: What then?

AF: I get a kick. Two drifters … standing there before me.

Prosecutor: Then what did you do?

AF: Nothing to do!

Prosecutor: What happened when they kicked you?

AF: Everything started to hum.

Prosecutor: Where were you taken?

AF: In limousines, their chauffeurs would drive.

Prosecutor: Do you remember anyone talking?

AF: Yes, there were times.

Prosecutor: What did they say?

AF: The best is yet to come.

Prosecutor: Anything else?

AF: You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Prosecutor: What did you say?

AF: Oh no, not me.

Prosecutor: Why would someone abduct you?

AF: I’m ‘A No. 1,’ top of the list. This could only happen to a guy like me and only happen in a town like this. I’ve lived a life that’s full, travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this. This I’ll tell ya, brother: I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.

Prosecutor: What were you thinking as you were being led away?

AF: And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain.

Defence: Objection! Thoughts are hearsay!

Judge: Overruled. Continue. Witness will answer the question.

AF: … Clear to me, you obviously do not adore me. I tried so not to give in. I said to myself this affair it never will go so well. Why should I try to resist? A warning voice comes in the night, repeats repeats in my ear: Don’t you know, you fool, you never can win. Use your mentality. Wake up to reality! Ask the local gentry: You’ll come to this conclusion.

Prosecutor: Why is that?

AF: I’d sacrifice anything come what might. For what is a man? What has he got? If not himself, then he has not. To say the things he truly feels and not
the words of one who kneels.

Judge: Excuse me, sir?

AF: The record shows: I took the blows.

Prosecutor: Were you given anything to eat or drink during your captivity?

AF: A drink or two.

Prosecutor: At regular intervals?

AF: Dinner at eight.

Prosecutor: Did you eat the meals?

AF: I ate it up and spit it out.

Prosecutor: Can you describe your life since the abduction?

AF: The memory of all that, they can’t take that away from me. What now? How can I live? Live through another day? My dreams turn to ashes and my hopes turn to bits of clay. Ever since that night, I practise every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true. Once, I could see; once, I could
feel. Now I am numb, I become unreal. I walk the night without a goal, I feel the world, it’s closing in on me. Still, I’ll always keep the memory of.

Prosecutor: You’re suicidal, in other words?

Defence: Objection! Demands psychiatric evaluation.

Judge: Overruled. Witness will answer the question.

AF: Now, as tears subside … I’d be a fool to go on and on. No one would care if I should live, if I should live or die. Now there is nothing … but my last goodbye.

Prosecutor: No further questions.

Judge: Court will recess.

Gazette reporter: Start spreading the news.